The Pretender
by Cassie2
Summary: Kay, accidentally deleted this story so reloaded it. Buffy leaves Spike, goes see Angel. B/A, B/S - not really


TITLE: The Pretender (1/1)  
AUTHOR: Talia  
E-MAIL: pinkyboringness@hotmail.com  
DISCLAIMER: Don't own any of the characters, all property to Joss and co.  
TIMELINE: Couple of months after 'Smashed'  
SPOILERS: Not really any.  
SYNOPSIS: Buffy leaving Spike, she doesn't love him, going to see Angel.  
PAIRINGS: B/S - kind of, B/A - kind of  
DISTRIBUTION: Land of denial, Fanfiction.net and anyone else! Just gotta ask   
:)  
NOTE: Yup it is B/S, but not really because she doesn't actually love him or   
anything and I know there isn't much B/A interaction sorry! Kinda Angsty.   
Thinking maybe a sequel, not sure though.  
FEEDBACK: Ya-huh :) Send it on in!  
RATING: PG  
----------------------------------------------------------  
His cool hands slide along my shoulders and down my arms, taking the straps   
of my singlet with them.  
  
"God, you're so beautiful."  
  
He blows over my neck and I shiver and pull his shirt off.  
  
"I've missed you."  
  
I ignore him and place soft kisses on his pale, still chest.  
  
"Talk to me."  
  
I sigh and sit back, pulling my singlet back on. He always ruins the moment,   
does it everytime.  
  
"What do you want me to say??"  
  
He shakes his head and reaches for his packet of cigarettes.  
  
"Well?!"  
  
"Say something! Anything! Everytime we meet you never say a thing!"  
  
"Talking ruins it."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Because I'm only pretending with you Spike, that's why. This means nothing   
to me, I just want to feel, feel something......just want you to be him.  
  
"Stop shutting me out Slayer."  
  
I push him back on the bed and take his cigarette out of his mouth and put   
it out in the ashtray next to me. It sizzles slightly and the grey smoke   
twirls and swirls, making all sorts of patterns before fading out. I stare   
at the empty space for a few more seconds before I turn to Spike and devour   
his mouth with my own.  
  
He pushes me away and I pull him ontop of me. His icy blue eyes lock with   
mine and I see passion and love flash brightly in them and in this moment I   
am afraid, afraid of what this obsession that Spike has with me is going to   
do to him.  
  
What will he do when he knows I'm just pretending with him? Will he finally   
kill me? Will he sink his fangs into my neck and drink my blood? or will he   
turn me into him....one of them...where I'll sink my fangs into each and   
everyone of my friends necks and drink their warm, thick blood and revel in   
the glorious feeling of it sliding down my throat.  
  
I quickly look away and I feel sick, sometimes I can't believe I'm doing   
this. Pretending with him just so I can feel....something....no matter how   
sick and twisted the feeling may be.  
  
Spike grabs my chin and forces me to look at him.  
  
"Tell me that you love me."  
  
I look straight into his eyes and for a few seconds I feel like I'm drifting   
away, drifting in the oceans of the blue in his eyes.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Tell me that you love me, that's what I want you to say."  
  
He looks at me pleadingly and I know that he knows I don't love him. Never   
have, never will. But he still wants me to say it because it'll feed his   
illusion and as long as he has the illusion he's fine.  
  
"Say it!"  
  
I push him off me and get off the bed, pulling my coat on and grabbing my   
bag. I didn't even hear him move but suddenly his hand is gripping my arm   
and he yanks me closer to him. He leans in close to my ear and I can smell   
smoke, I breathe it in and it burns my nose and my eyes water.  
  
"Why can't you say it?!"  
  
"Because I don't love you!! You're not him!! No matter how much I pretend   
that you are, you'll never be him!!"  
  
He stands there staring at me while his cigarette burns slowly in his mouth,   
he doesn't look shocked, he looks....sad. I guess I would be too if the   
person that I loved didn't love me back.  
  
"Goodbye, Spike."  
  
I'm almost at the door when I hear him speak.  
  
"I love you."  
  
He says it hopefully, like that'll make me love him back or something. I   
turn to face him and smile sadly.  
  
"I'm sorr-"  
  
"I don't want your pity."  
  
I nod my head and silence falls over us, I turn towards the door and finally   
leave.  
  
I know where I'm going, I could get there even if I was blind. Going to see   
him, because he's the only one that can really make me feel and I don't have   
to pretend with him.  
  
I smile when I see the Welcome to L.A. sign and I feel my blood hum inside   
me.  
  
I knock on the door and wait patiently and then suddenly the door opens and   
reveals the man I love, the man that can make me feel so many things I've   
never felt before for anyone else. His chocolate brown eyes widen with   
surprise and he smiles, I feel myself smiling back and warmth spreads   
throughout my body and my heart beats that little bit faster.  
  
"Hey."  
  
And in this moment I know I can stop pretending and just feel....  
  
The end! 


End file.
